Gadgets

I just got this:

OMG, it is so freaking cute, I think I'm gonna die.  It's a Dell DJ MP3 player with 15 GB's of memory(3700 songs) and it is tiny!!!  It also has a voice recorder, which is great cuz I can record any deep thoughts I might have and then go home and whine about how my voice sounds funny.  I got it to replace the broken CD player in my car (a word to the wise - it's only a matter of time before your car CD player breaks down, so be ready...) and I'm gonna play it in my car with an FM transmitter.  I also finally bought a digital camera, which explains my new profile pic as well as these beautiful works of art in front of you.  Kicking and screaming, I'm being dragged into the 21st century...

A New Series

Along with my usual silliness, I'm gonna try and post the entire Heidelberg Catechism, one a day.  It was originally formulated in 1563 and it's the most poetic and eloquent of the Christian creeds and confessions.  Dunno how long I'm gonna be able to keep it up, but we'll see.  And now without further ado:

The Heidelberg Catechism

Q1.  What is your only comfort in life and in death?

A.   That I am not my own,
but belong body and soul,
in life and in death,
to my faithful savior Jesus Christ.   

He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood,
and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil.
He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head
without the will of my Father in heaven:
in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.

Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit,
assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on,
to live for him.

1 Cor. 6:19-20, Rom. 14:7-9, 1 Cor. 3:23, Titus 2:14, 1 Pet. 1:18-19, 1 John 1:7-9; 2:2, John 8:34-36, Heb. 2:14-15, 1 John 3:1-11, John 6:39-40; 10:27-30, 2 Thess. 3:3, 1 Pet. 1:5, Matt. 10:29-31, Luke 21:16-18, Rom. 8:28, Rom. 8:15-16, 2 Cor. 1:21-22; 5:5, Eph. 1:13-14, Rom. 8:1-17

Of Primary and Secondary Motivation

Last weekend I was down in D.C. and was hanging with a friend when we started talking about dating and what we're looking for, and I asked my friend as sort of a challenge, "What do I want?  What do I need?"  She's two years older than me, and we've known each other for a good 15 years, so we go pretty far back, and I think she has a decent handle on my personality.  But her response was like, "Umm... lemme get back to you on that."  I guess I shouldn't have been surprised cuz I think most of my friends would find it difficult answering that question for me.  But last weekend I was thinking, gosh, how nice it would be to find someone who actually thought I had some writing talent and really liked that about me.  I think I've met like, two girls in my life who've really been supportive about my writing and would keep me accountable to it.  One of them wrote me the nicest letter after she read my play.  I saved it all these years.  Keep in mind that it was really NOT a very good play.  Here's part of what she wrote:

"After having read Nature Divine, I feel almost embarrassed about my mindset when you first gave it to me.  I didn't know what to expect, in honesty, I anticipated gaining nothing but a better understanding of you as a writer.  Now, pages later, the pages I've turned have turned pages in me reminding me of the things I had preferred were forgotten.  A simple plot that holds so much is the kind of story that lives in people.  Your play is provokingly engaging because it is so real.  Not so much Bill or Alex or Jenny, but the meaning clothed by the words, the blackouts, the pauses on the white..."

There's more, but isn't that so nice?  A few months later she married a plastic surgeon from L.A.  So I figure this kind of support would also be really useful cuz in trying to write something, my primary motivation is to please God.  But being the lousy Christian that I am, just wanting to please God isn't quite strong enough to get me to write this dang thing, so I end up leaning heavily on secondary motivation, namely things like glory, fame, money, hot immature Christian women throwing themselves at my feet.  That's kind of bad, but it's cuz the motivation is all self-generated.  If I had someone who could sort of lovingly push me, things would be a lot easier.  But alas, I think God is making me write the novel alone before he'll let me get married.  Then once it becomes a best-seller (here AND Korea), I can just see myself ending up marrying some hot Christian bimbo who only wants me for my fame.  It's terrible.  And it's gonna happen I tell ya... 

p.s.  February 5-27 at the Gramercy Theatre, they're doing a festival of Korean director Im Kwon-Taek films!  Have you guys seen Sopyonje?  One of the best Korean movies I've ever seen, and all these movies are only $6 bucks!!!  Y'all should totally check this out: Schedule of Films.

On Same-Sex Marriage

I just finished watching Flashpoints USA with Bryant Gumbel and Gwen Ifill on PBS and their show was on the changing role of religion in politics, government and American life.  They covered the usual topics like Bush, faith based initiatives, pledge of allegiance controversy, Roy Moore, and a bunch of other stuff, but they spent a good chunk on gay marriages, predicting that this will be a dividing issue in upcoming elections.  And frankly, I can't figure out where I stand on this topic.  Of course, I don't think the church should allow same-sex marriage, because biblically it's pretty clear that God doesn't like it (or any form of sex outside of marriage), but as far as federal or state recognition of a same-sex union, I'm not so sure.  If I didn't believe in God, I would think it's only fair that they should have the same rights and status as regular married couples.  I mean, we're talking about the non-believing, secular world here.  Let 'em do what they want, no? 

A bunch of these conservative Christian guys were interviewed and every one of them seemed to be on some sort of mission to prevent same-sex marriages.  More specifically, I think their essential motivation comes from this idea that God has entrusted them to preserve some semblance of morality or order in society (even if that society has no belief in God), and that if they don't, God's going to be pissed off.  But I'm not so sure about that.  Our evangelistic goal as Christians is the transformation of the heart.  The changes in behavior come naturally afterwards.  So what's the point of trying to maintain or preserve a standard of behavior for people who don't have the moral foundation to support or appreciate it?  Isn't it plainly obvious that America has lost its faith but just hasn't realized it yet?  I mean, if you don't believe in God and you wanna live by your own rules, just come clean about it, for heaven's sake.  That way at least, as the world becomes darker and more confused, the church and the message of the gospel shines ever brighter.  What scares me is people like Eugene Robinson, the openly gay Episcopal bishop, who was also interviewed on this show.  It was the first time I'd ever seen or heard him speak, and he offered these words of wisdom:  "Well, the writers of the Bible didn't understand anything about homosexuality as an orientation, so I don't think the Bible is relevant for the issues of today."  ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!  How can you be a bishop of any kind of "Christian" church and have views like that???  That scares me.  Oh, and Bryant Gumbel is a putz.

The da Vinci Code

Ok, this entire blog is not going to be dedicated to the book and neither am I going to reveal any spoilers.  But I finished it on Friday, and while it was pretty entertaining, I gotta say, it wasn't exactly beautiful prose, which was encouraging to me, cuz I figure I can do better than that.  There are a few other things that occurred to me while reading the book.  I was kind of glad that he brought out all these wacky Christian theories, because much of the general public has similar vague suspicions and to have someone reproduce them in a work of fiction gives Christians the ammo to say, when confronted with such theories in real life, "Where'd you get that idea?  The da Vinci Code?  HAHAHAHAHA."  Cuz the fact is, the author takes some serious liberties with the truth, especially the sections on church history, in order to make for a more compelling read.  In other words, he creates fiction.  He does it skillfully enough to make it seem accurate, and lazy-minded readers probably will accept it as such, but hey, what can you do?

The other thing it made me realize is, I need to be up-to-date on these controversial ideas.  Does anyone know the book or the movie, The Last Temptation of Christ?  Well, most of you are probably too young to remember this, but when that movie came out in 1988, there was a huge controversy about it.  All these Christian groups boycotted that movie and criticized Martin Scorsese (he's a practicing Catholic) for making it.  The ruckus was about the last scene of the movie where Christ is portrayed as dreaming about sex, a family, home, children, essentially yielding to the last temptation that Satan throws at him.  I was in high school at the time, and I knew what the movie was about, and I asked my youth pastor what he thought about it.  He said he didn't recommend seeing it because it simply wasn't useful to entertain wacky ideas about Jesus in my head.  To paraphrase a verse from the Bible, "[All art] is permissible, but not everything is beneficial."  That made sense to me, and really, I wasn't sure whether I wanted to picture Willem Dafoe (who plays Christ) in my mind every time I set out to pray.  So I never did watch it, and I've pretty much steered clear of any movies that attempted to depict Biblical stories (even the Jesus film.  I know, supposedly, hundreds of thousands of people all over the world have accepted Christ after watching that movie, but do they really know Christ or does that image from the movie become an idol that they unwittingly worship?  Man, that whole issue is so complex, it gives me a headache), but after reading the da Vinci Code, I feel I need to know what the public is consuming.  After all, this dang book has been #1 on the NYT Bestseller's List for like 40 straight weeks.  Same thing goes for Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ, coming out in April.  I was planning on not watching it cuz I felt, and still do feel, that the potential for spiritual harm is greater than the potential for spiritual good.  But y'know, the situation is what it is.  We're living in some seriously confusing times, and I didn't make the rules, but I still have to play the game...

Flying Free

Hey, did you know if you buy two roundtrip tix on AA from NY to LA or FL, before April 15th, you get a free ticket to anywhere American flies?  Read this.  It's an awesome deal, and I think I'm gonna do it just to get a ticket to Japan.  Delta has a similar sale, but on Delta you're not allowed to use "T" class fares, which are the cheapest ones.  But on American, anything goes.  So, it looks like I'm gonna do an Orlando trip ($155) the last weekend in February to go see the Holy Land, and a trip to L.A. ($215) the last weekend in March.  I've recruited Animal for the L.A. trip, too.  Anybody else interested?

Sharing the Love

Y'know, for the last few months I've been trying to not interact so much with the xanga community (i.e., not giving out too many comments or e-props, and not allowing them on mine), partly because, well, it's a little weird that I'll probably never or rarely meet in real life most of you people who comprise my little community here.  And if that's the case, then what's the point of investing time and energy into these odd relationships?  The other reason I've been a bit reclusive is because I got my first 12-year old subscriber a while ago and it freaked me out a little (sorry, Hyaemee, but I think I'm the same age as your dad).  Nevertheless, the fact is, I still check my xanga every day, and I still read all of your entries, so I decided, why not at least acknowledge it?  So I'm going to start giving out lots of e-props according to the following grading scale:

2 e-props + a comment = means you've stirred my heart or hit a nerve or I think you're hot.

2 e-props = means I read your entry, and I'm speechless or I have no idea what you're talking about.

1 e-prop = means I read your entry but I wish I hadn't.

0 e-props = means you're the devil.

So, really, if I've read your entry, I'll do my best to let you know I was there.  However, I have to throw a disclaimer in here.  If you're one of those people who only gets 1 or 2 e-props every time you post something (like my brother), I think it's only fair to warn you that I may have to refrain from giving you e-props.  No offense, but there's no point in BOTH of us looking like losers, right?  Great.  I knew you'd understand...

Time Well Spent

It's Saturday morning, and I've spent my day watching "Misery" with James Caan and Kathy Bates (which is a great movie in my opinion.  I think Rob Reiner's my favorite American director), cutting my fingernails, and listening to the Evanescence CD which I bought a week ago.  At 2:30, I'm supposed to watch "City by the Sea" with my mom, cuz my dad raved about it, and she doesn't want to watch it alone.  In a few hours, I'll be drinking beer, eating pizza and watching approximately 7 hours of football (actually about two hours of football and 5 hours of commercials).  There's this song on the CD named "Tourniquet" and she sings about Christ and blood and salvation, but it would take a while to figure out what the heck she's actually trying to say and then decide if it's theologically meaningful, so I don't think it's worth the effort.  Still, this songwriter probably put in a lot of time and effort trying to create something beautiful.  You know this aria that plays on my Xanga?  It's from an opera called The Pearl Fishers by Bizet.  I have no idea what the heck they're singing about either.  I just like how it sounds.  There's a much better version of it on the soundtrack of "The Man Who Cried", a relatively insignificant movie with Johnny Depp that came out in 2000.  My parents went to early morning prayer and service because their church is having a revival.  They've been going every night since Wednesday and they're going back tonight and they're going to go listen to a guest speaker who also probably spent a lot of time thinking and putting together sermons that would glorify God and encourage the body.  So where am I going with this?

Well, I dunno exactly, but it's got something to do with the fact that I and my parents are spending the entire day consuming the products of someone's creativity (football, too!).  The car I drive, the label on my vitamin bottles, all this too was designed by the human mind.  And I'll probably die in a few decades and since each day is precious, I'm wondering, am I spending my time wisely today?  What would be a better use of my time?  Take a hike in the woods?  Talk to a friend?  Read the Bible?  Save a life?  Write a Xanga entry?  Am I really enjoying these things for what they are or am I just diverting my attention with useless things and wasting my time?  Would I be doing this if I only had a year to live?  And if not, what would I be doing?  Are we always to be doing something productive?  Isn't that a personality thing?  Just rambling thoughts today...  Gotta go watch a movie now...

The Fast - Day 6 (sort of)

The end of the fast on Wednesday wasn't all that dramatic, although at times when I ate, it seemed like my body wasn't all that pleased.  Granted, deep fried pork cutlets may not have been the wisest thing to put into my stomach after such a long absence, but I was surprised that my stomach wasn't all that welcoming to the food.  I began noticeably shaking as I ate, and felt nauseous halfway through.  I guess my body had gotten used to liquids only.  The body does not like sudden change.  Anyway, self-denial is good.  I've eaten everything I've wanted to today, and I already feel lost.  I'm definitely going to do the weekly fast.  I need the power.

Currently Craving:  focus...

Prayed About:  all my friends...

I just watched a movie tonight called "Behind the Sun", some foreign flick about these two families and their centuries old feud, and the son of this one family finally breaks the cycle by falling in love with this gypsy chick and abandoning the tradition.  Anyway, the love angle was typical of what we've seen in movies and books and have come to accept.  The girl and guy see each other, spend a little time together, and fall madly in love with each other.  They fall in love essentially based on physical attraction.  Y'know, we highly evolved specimens of the twenty first century decry this sort of thing as idealized, romanticized, a Hollywood kind of love.  So how come we buy into it when we watch these movies?  I mean, I don't want to re-start another Xanga discussion on beauty, but, really, what's so bad about physical attraction?

Lemme explain.  Let's say some girl likes me cuz she thinks I'm hot.  Okay, the downside of that is the fear that when I get old and ugly or I have a horrible face scarring accident, she's not going to like me anymore.  But now let's say some girl likes me cuz she thinks I'm a really faithful Christian.  Is that any better?  That's even scarier.  What happens when she sees me for the sinner I really am?  Or I start to lose faith or doubt?  Same thing goes if she likes me cuz she thinks I'm artistic or I'm a really good volleyball player.  All forms of attraction are more or less the same.  Attraction exists only to get you to the starting point.  Once you're there, the goal is to love the person as a whole, right?  So, however way you get to the starting point doesn't matter much does it?  The only thing that matters is whether you're mature enough to love someone as a whole.  Which, sadly, most of us are not.  It's kinda the same thing as the "Why do you love me?" question.  If your significant other ever asks you, "Why do you love me?", you can't answer it by listing any one or many particular things about the person that you like (try it.  see what happens).  That love's gotta transcend all the particulars and become this unconditional kind of thing.  It's the example God set for us and it's what we spend our lives trying to replicate...

The Fast - Day 5

Well, I'm breaking my fast tomorrow at lunch.  There's a big whole story behind it, but you don't wanna know.  It's not cuz I'm dying to eat.  My first meal in six days will be at Katsuhama, the best donkatsu place in the city.  It'll be heavenly, I'm sure.

It's so weird that it's almost over.  I think I'm gonna miss it.  Having a single-minded purpose or focus even for a few days was so nice.  The clarity was nice.  I think I was a much more encouraging person these last few days, more aware, more open to God's leading.  I wonder if I've turned a corner...

Currently Craving:  Believe it or not, not craving anything...

Prayed About:  Iggi, Elaina, Eunji, Jordan, Ben, Amy, the country of Japan, that the global church would seek holiness and righteousness...