Completely Unrelated Photographs

These are seriously unrelated photos. 

This is me a foot away from Dubya at a meet and greet while he was here in Seoul a couple of weeks ago.  I could've shook his hand, but images of me running around telling everyone I know, "I just shook the President's hand!!" flashed through my mind and then I couldn't muster the strength.

I just caught this monster in my bathroom today.  Check out those freakin' mandibles!!  And the molted skin he just grew out of!  Y'know, it's nice having a house in Seoul and all that, but dudes, I got some serious bug problems.  Honestly, every two weeks, I wake up to find earthworms crawling around my living room.  Earthworms!!

The Future

My friends, I have tasted the future.  And the future is:

But wait, let's take a step back.  This is what we used to eat:

In case you've never bothered to read the nutrition panel on one
of these suckers, rest assured, it's not really 7 grams of fat per
serving as it may look like.  It's actually 14 GRAMS OF FAT and 6 grams of that saturated (they assume serving size is half a bowl).  Oh, you only eat Sapporo Ichiban, you say?  Try 21 GRAMS OF FAT and 12 saturated for that yummy meal.  My Healthy Generation cup ramen on the other hand:

Pretty amazing, huh?  And the taste?  Honestly, it almost tastes better than the original.  And yeah, it costs twice as much too, but so worth it.  I'm never going back.  Oh, and one other thing:

P.S.  Leaving for Seoul in late May. 
P.P.S.  Not in Turkey anymore.

Food For Thought

The current hip-hop star Kanye West maintains that after a year or so, when a new term is no longer in style for black people, it's O.K. for others to pick it up.  "I think white people are allowed to say bling.  They are allowed to say old-skool black slang, like hottie and homie.  If you say a slang word too early, it's like you're trying to be black.  So as long as the slang is a little played out, you're all good."

Didn’t know that, huh?

From http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/06/10/opinion/edsafire.php

Sad All Around

So while y'all back in the States are dealing with the VT massacre, we're dealing with a different tragedy over here in Turkey.  Last week, three Christians were bound, gagged, and had their throats slit in a town called Malatya.  Malatya is about seven hours away, southeast of where I live.  One was a German missionary, one a Turkish pastor, and the other a Turkish church member who worked at a Christian publishing house.  A friend of ours knew all three people.  That's one degree of separation for me and two degrees of separation for you.  A little while before he died, the German missionary wrote a song and one of the lines in his song went, Lord, you are worthy to take my life.  He was stabbed 156 times before they finally slit his throat. 

Unfortunately, the government tends to encourage this kind of atmosphere.  The National Security Council has photos, charts and histories of all the Christians and tracks their activities through the same office that follows the PKK, al-Qaida and other terrorist groups.  Strictly religiously speaking, Islam portrays itself as tolerant of other religions, but if you read the fine print, Christians, Jews, and other peoples of faith are allowed to exist but never as full members of society.  We are to be kept on the fringes.  And historically, missionaries have had a bad reputation in Turkey (probably deservedly) and that distrust has never gone away.  If you're a nationalist, you don't like Christians.  If you're a strong Islamist, you don't like Christians.  And if you're a strong Islamic nationalist, you really don't like Christians.  So, yeah, maybe there is some persecution here after all. 

http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/0,1518,478955,00.html

18,474.

Numbering Days

This morning, I heard a sermon from the Air Force Chief of Chaplains at the National Prayer Breakfast here in Ankara.  He preached a stirring message on Psalm 90:12 - "So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."  I thought to myself, "Hmm... if I'm lucky enough to live to 85 years old, how many days would I have left?"

The number is 18,475.  I have 18,475 days left on this earth if I'm lucky.  Tomorrow it will be 18,474.  Can you live waking up each morning with a number in your head?  I shall try.  And we'll see how life changes...

Also this morning, we had our annual emergency training on WMD attacks and got new gas masks.  The first symptom of a mild nerve gas attack is miosis, or constriction of the pupils.  The second symptoms are an incredibly runny nose and drooling of the mouth.  The instructor said, "I like to call this 'juicy face'."

Year of the Pig

My year, dammit.  They say whatever you're doing at the exact moment the new year comes around, you'll be doing for the rest of the year.  Most past New Year's eve activities have included praying, partying, or both.  To get ready for this most eventful year, I did something I haven't done since I was 15.

I slept.

YOUR FORTUNE IN PIG YEAR:

Expect the best year of a twelve-year life cycle. Pigs benefit greatly
from the energy of their own year. Good fortune is foreseen in romance,
family affairs, and business endeavors. New ventures bring success.
Pigs could inherit or find money. An excellent year for marriage,
romance, or having a child. Luck is with you throughout the year.

An Ode to Toyota Turkey

So it's official now that I've lived in Turkey for a little over a year.  I will not miss narrowly avoiding cars trying to turn left from the far right lane using the cover of pedestrians playing chicken with us.  I will not miss the look of bewilderment of a face gazing upon a real, live Asian for the very first time.  I will not miss the pungent musk of working class men (and women).  What I will miss is Toyota Turkey.  This morning, I took my 2000 Solara to the Toyota Service and Dealership here in Ankara, and had my oil changed, a brake light replaced, a punctured tire replaced with one that I brought, all four tires rotated, and a car wash to boot.  All for the grand total of less than $20 dollars. 

It's almost like stealing, and it brings out the imperialist in me.

Here we come, KOREA!!!

Ok, fine, that was really gay...

We're Moving Again...

Although not for another year.  Here is the list we submitted in order of preference for our next post: