Tuesday Night Deep Thought
"Are you doing anything tonight?"
"Tonight? Uhh... I'm not sure..."
"Can you meet me?"
"Umm... ok."
"But it's just for tonight. I don't want to lead you on."
"What? What are you talking about? Are you looking for some kind of one night stand?"
"Umm... yeah. But not sexually or anything."
"You're crossing the line."
"I'm not ready for anything deeper."
"The world doesn't work like that."
"Yes, it does."
ARIRANG: The Korean-American Journey
Hey, in case you missed it last year, this documentary is on PBS (Channel 13 in NY) tonight from 9-11 PM. If you haven't seen it, y'all should watch it and get edumacated...
Change
Depressing weekend. This was the weekend of broken relationships. Friendships, marriages, relationships... ending or in disarray. It's so sad hearing my friends' stories cuz y'know, it's comforting to see something last; to see it withstand the pressures of time and change and when it doesn't, well... it's sad. Maybe it's wrong of me to be seeking that kind of permanence in this life. I guess it's a reminder to me of just how much life is about change. To always be ready for it. Like Paul who learned to be content in every situation, whether it be hungry or well-fed, in plenty or in want. Not so much food for me, but I guess, emotional stability, balance... Cuz if there's one true constant about life, it's that it changes...
The Heidelberg Catechism
Q74. Should infants, too, be baptized?
A. Yes.
Infants as well as adults
are in God's covenant and are his people.
They, no less than adults, are promised
the forgiveness of sin through Christ's blood
and the Holy Spirit who produces faith.
Therefore, by baptism, the mark of the covenant,
infants should be received into the Christian church
and should be distinguished from the children of unbelievers.
This was done in the Old Testament by circumcision,
which was replaced in the New Testament by baptism.
Gen. 17:7, Matt. 19:14, Isa. 44:1-3, Acts 2:38-39; 16:31; 10:47, 1 Cor. 7:14, Gen. 17:9-14, Col. 2:11-13
Ooh, controversial stuff today. This is one of the major differences between say, Presbyterians and Baptists. Presbyterians do baptize babies. It's nice. You have a baby, and you certainly want your child to know the Lord, so you have the pastor baptize your kid as a way of proclaiming that your whole family is devoted to the Lord and that you intend to raise your child in a godly manner and also to make a public petition to the Lord to keep an eye on your kid. In the Bible, the apostles often baptized whole families when the head of the household converted. They did it back then, so we see no reason why we shouldn't do it now. But in reality, infant baptism doesn't contribute to the child's actual salvation. That only occurs when the child or adult comes to believe in Jesus as his/her personal savior. On this point, both Baptists and Presbyterians would agree. But Baptists would take it a step further and say, since it does the child no good, why do it at all? They would further point out Biblical passages that emphasize baptism following the moment of conversion. In other words, you should only become baptized after you (at a mature enough age) accept Christ.
It doesn't seem like something that important, right? I mean, if we're all Christians, then shouldn't we be able to find some sort of compromise on this issue? Well, the problem is that if you go to a church that really stresses that the Bible is the WORD of God, and you're serious about making it the rule and guide for your life, there is really not that much room to compromise. If you have a strong doctrine for the Word of God, it becomes problematic and somewhat dangerous at any point to say, well, let's just ignore this part, or for the sake of church unity, let's just agree to disagree. Certainly, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but in the end, the church and pastor have authority and must say somewhere that this is what the Bible is saying. This is why at a lot of non-denominational churches, they have some pretty fuzzy teachings on certain issues. They avoid the hard questions so as to not offend or exclude anyone. But what suffers in the process is their view of the Bible as being able to provide answers, and ultimately, the truth. Instead of, "the Bible says this", our practical theology becomes, "well, the Bible's not really clear on this, so, I'm just gonna go with what makes sense to me." Of course, we all do that to some extent, but it's all about minimizing this kind of thinking, making it the exception rather than the rule of our Christian walk...
Ok, that was my rant for the week...
Camping Pictures - from High Point State Park in Sussex, NJ
My campsite upon arriving on Thurs. night, about 8 PM...
Sawmill Lake at dusk...
My steak dinner on Thurs. night. I made a mistake and put barbecue sauce on it while it was cooking. Ended up tasting like beef jerky. So disappointing...
The view from my tent as I arose around 7 AM...
My tent. I love my tent. I bought it for like $30 and it's lasted me like 4 years and counting...
Alternate view of the campsite...
Fried catfish, sauteed spinach and cornbread - Friday's lunch. Mmm...
Can you spot the animal in this picture? Right above the white rock: a water snake...
My seat of inspiration. Although I gotta say, sitting here looking out at the water was almost as bad as watching TV. You just zone out. Good for reflecting, but not good for creating...
My fire. I spent like 20 minutes chopping wood and got two blisters for my troubles. And wouldn't you know it, the stuff just would NOT burn. Meanwhile, I threw some store-bought wood on, and it lit up like a firecracker. I realized, you can chop all you want, but if it's not ready to burn, it just won't go...
The view from the highest point in NJ, hence the name...
I just thought I'd throw this in there cuz it's kind of gross and weird-looking. The caterpillars are just hatching and coming out of their little web egg. Anybody know what kind of moth or butterfly these things become? They were all over the mountain...
I went camping for the last two days.
Alone.
I pitched my tent.
I made a fire.
I read.
I looked out for bears.
I watched no TV.
I climbed a mountain.
Or maybe it was a hill.
I prayed.
I roasted marshmallows.
I wrote a new story.
I drank no beer.
I watched the sunset.
I ate sausages.
And I experienced no moral dilemmas, no hesitation.
If Only...
"So you can't love me at all?" Bigum gasped almost inaudibly. "Oh, that's terrible, there is nothing in my soul that I wouldn't murder or degrade, if only I might win you by doing so. No, no, if I were offered madness and in the visions of that madness, I possessed you, possessed you, then I would say: look, here is my mind, dig down into its wondrous construction with a careless hand and tear asunder all the fine fibers with which my soul is bound to the shining triumphal chariot of the human spirit, let me sink down into the temporal mire, beneath the chariot's wheel, and let the others pass by on their paths of glory up to the light. Do you understand me? Do you comprehend that even if your love came to me stripped of all its brightness, all the majesty of its purity, yes, even if it came to me debased, sullied, like a travesty of love, like a sickly phantom, I would receive it, on my knees, as if it were a holy host. But the best in me is in vain, the worst in me is in vain. I shout to the sun, but it does not shine, to the cloudy pillar, but it does not reply. Reply! What is there to reply to? That I am suffering? No, this inexpressible torment that is splitting my innermost being down to its deepest roots, this agony just repels you, offends you like a cold little insult, and you laugh scornfully in your heart at the poor tutor's impossible passion."
- from Niels Lyhne by J.P. Jacobsen
I wish I could write like this. Or maybe I just need to work on feeling this first...
Random
Oh my, I'm so tired. Spent the weekend chauffeuring around our Bible seminar speaker and then took the day off to attend my pastor's mom's funeral in Philly. That's 3 funerals in the last six months. Does every funeral bring me closer to my own death? Maybe. We sang these beautiful words: (sung to the melody playing on my Xanga)
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.
Bible Study
Went and visited my old Redeemer Bible study Friday night. It's essentially a bunch of (generally) highly-motivated, college educated people getting together to "study" the Bible. In other words, reading comprehension. Those that were good at reading comprehension got their points across early and often. Those that weren't, didn't. Peer-led Bible studies are becoming less and less attractive to me. Someone needs to have some authority. Someone has to be able to say "this is correct, and this is not." Otherwise, it's just the blind leading the blind...
I have such disorganized thoughts tonight...
Tuesday Night Deep Thought
"We have a serious problem."
"Again?"
"I don't think we pray enough together."
"But we have Bible study once a week."
"Yes, but I don't think you really like it. You just do it to humor me."
"Give me some time. I'm not comfortable with it yet."
"You're bringing me down. I'm not sure I can wait for you to come around."
"But you're bringing me up. Isn't that worth it?"
"I can't sacrifice my relationship with God for you."
"So you wanna end it? Is that love?"
"I'm just trying to survive."
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